I Feel Funny

28Feb07

Welcome to Symptom Checker on WebMD. Or as I like to call it, Random Hysterical Symptom Aggregator Meant To Give Me Something To Worry About. I pronounce the acronum RaHsAm which rhymes with Awesome. You with me so far?

According to WebMD the top searches based on this interactive nightmare include: Diabetes, BiPolar Disorder, Male Pattern Baldness, Gout, Stroke and Celiac Disease. I’m not sure how you get the guy to tell you that you might have Bipolar disorder… I tried clicking on his head an then clicking it again in an effort to “split” his personality but it just asked me if I had a headache. Also if you are having a stroke I don’t think an interactive fake person will help you very much. And if you aren’t, I think he’s just going to convince you that you are. Yesterday at a meeting one of the women there was pregnant and she told me her doctor literally forbids his patients to go onto WebMD. Which I completely understand considering that within five minutes I had diagnosed myself with gout, cellulitis and something called Roseola which it says only affects little kids but I’m sure I am the exception to that rule, as I am fussy and irritable today.

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