Total Opposites

3 May

Spiderman III premiere: I have to RSVP weeks in advance.  I can only get two tickets.  They insist security will be “hellish.”  Their words, not mine.  3000 Hollywood-esque people drag their asses to Astoria Queens, surprisingly few on the train.  Jews for Jesus are on the streets sporting “Jesus Loves Spidey” shirts. Wait in a line around the block, get shuffled through three un-marked will-call lines only to have security let a guy claim he is Beth Schacter so he can grab our tickets.  Movie plays on 14 screens.  Everyone has to check their cell phones.  Have you ever seen 3000 Hollywood-esque people be told they have to de-Blackberry themselves for three hours?  Not good.  Take free stale popcorn and warm soda to movie theater where assigned seats have given way to open seating.  Wait 45 minutes for the movie to start.  Leave after 90 minutes once we realize that the fear of losing our cell phones far outweighs the fears we have for Peter Parker.  Go back to the city, go to a lame party, leave after we realize the food there all taste like feet and drag Max to Marions for polenta fries.  He is still mad at me.

Bjork:  Get a call at 8 pm from Tim that he has an extra ticket.  Debate for five minutes.  Grab a slice of pizza, run to the F train, get to Radio City, meet Tim and his cool friends, go to our seats and for 90 minutes watch the tiniest-crazy-lady-with-hobbit-feet put on a Tron worthy lazarium show and sing the shit out of every single song.  Realize that it doesn’t matter if everyone there gets that this is performance art.  It is like going to rock and roll church.  Get home by 11:30.

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