Ya Reference One Little Comic Book…

8 Jun

Somehow the post about Bitch magazine ended up on a Women In Comics Blogroll and all of a sudden 40 viewers a day became 400 a day. I’m pretty sure 90% of them wandered off when they realized I wasn’t calling the new Batgirl a bitch. Or asking her to grow up. But it did spawn one truly unique post by someone named Papa Spank. Now first lets get some stuff out of the way. I am not in the BDSM world. The closest I have come is shooting a movie across the street from Hell and in the same building as The Vault which not only makes me over 29 but also makes me no kind of expert in the world of hurt as a form of kink. But I truly appreciate that there exists a group of people who like to play on the razor’s edge of control, often with actual razors. I think that some bondage is beautiful to look at, with all the ropes and the flesh and stuff, but I don’t have that groin level response. I don’t have rape fantasies, or torture fantasies. The trailer to Hostel 2 makes me queasy.

But.

I do have a strong belief that women do not need any help being equal participants in the world. We do not need to world explained or made smaller for our benefit. We do not need to have special laws protecting us. I read the Bill of Rights and The Constitution and I have equal protection under the law. Until someone changes that, I don’t need laws to protect me as if my gender was, by definition, a handicap. If I want your help I will ask for it. If I am objectified, it will be on my own terms. If I am hit, I will hit back. I don’t need laws to make these things so. I need the current social conditions to improve, and I need feminists to recognize that plurality and broad definitions of what make a woman a feminist strengthens us, but that isn’t the point of this post.

The point of this post is that in no way does that change my absolute loathing for societies that condone the abuse of women and then point to the Bible or the Koran or social relativism to make it okay. Let’s put aside the fact that it cheapens the religion itself.  Do not confuse those who actively pursue the BDSM world with those who want to inflict actual harm. It is the difference between fencing class and stabbing someone in the neck. Fencing class is a dance, a form of play-acting. Stabbing someone in the neck is violent behavior.

In an ideal world, all women would be offered every choice for her relationship with partners, sex, sexual roles and domestic roles. I do not believe that women in these so called Christian Domestic Discipline relationships are offered a choice. I believe that they are capable of making one. But abuse doesn’t always allow for freedom of thought to cause freedom of choice.

Lets say two people are in the BDSM world and someone outside it doesn’t like it. They call the cops and tell them that Jane is wearing a collar and Jack has the only key. The cops come. The BDSM couple are going to say, “We do this because we love and trust each other, and we are safe and careful.” Now say that Mary and Joseph are in a CDD relationship. Someone calls the cops because Mary has a black eye. Joseph is going to say, “I hit her because the Bible says I can.” Mary says she too follows the Bible. Legislation to protect Joseph’s right to beat the shit out of Mary because the Bible says is inherently misogynistic, as it gives power over a woman to a man and his religion. Legislation to outlaw BDSM is also mysoginistic as it gives the power over a woman to choose how she has sex to the state.

So yes, BDSM, pro-ana, The Pussycat Dolls, porn.. all of these to me belong under the heading of “my body, my choice.” Wrapping yourself in a religion and calling it kink, while hitting anyone is wrong. And the two are entirely different.

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