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Mr. Eric Cool. (Head of Department)

15 Jun

These Nigerian scammers are kind of geniuses with the storylines.

From: The officer in charge.
Mr. Eric Cool.
Tell: +44-7024027604

Attn: Beneficiary.

We write to inform you that our security agent discovered One Trunk Box containing a sum of (US$5.5M) from one diplomat who says that the consignment belongs to you but instruction was given to him to convey and divert it to Switzerland.

According to our findings the person that sent him for this mission wanted to claim your fund to his own selfish use. The consignment/fund has been move to our bank pending when you confirm this subject matters, meanwhile the diplomat is still under our custody for further interrogation. You are therefore advice to get back to this office consigning this issue as this will enable us release your fund to you, failure to respond we will not hesitate to release your consignment/fund to the diplomat.

Regards,

Mr. Eric Cool.
(Head of Department ).

In Case Of Emotional Emergency, Break Glass, Press Play

3 Dec

Probably NSFW but so what.

Spaghetti Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat

1 Dec

Try to forget the song.  I dare you.

Things Are Going Wack-A-Doodle On the Internet

11 May

Michael Bay and Bruce Willis are having a blog spat. Bruce started it by posting this:

Bay
by Walter B
May 6th, 2007
01:50:16 PM
Would have ruined DH4. Few people will work with him now, and I know I will never work with him again. And Spacesheik, DH4 was not ruined by the rating. Except for the “Fuck” allotment, this film rocks. Michael Kamen will be missed, but Marco Beltrami brought it in.

Regina Lynn on Wired, who I usually find really insightful spends an entire column talking about how virtual rape/rape in second life is still really really bad. Given the fact that the assault could be stopped by pressing a button, I’m not sure how or why she comes to that conclusion and it only furthers my suspicion that she is a Second Life junkie writing columns that legitimize her addiction. Seriously can anyone really be confused at the difference between Second Life and real life? And shouldn’t those people maybe get some therapy?

Elsewhere I have stumbled upon three competing private message boards all of which are annoying and distracting me. Board one is a free for all of unemployed stupidity. Board two is being choked to death by the name brand power of some of the posters. And board three seems to be a bitch fest for people who are annoyed by board one and two. I’m annoyed by all of it. None of it is exceptional enough to distract me from my own writing or engaging enough to make me laugh. Or cry.

I just finished this article about the MPAA using the level of smoking to help with their rating system. Here’s a little helpful advice to parents. The MPAA does not care about your kids. They do not care about educating or protecting your kids so if you let them make choices for you, you will get screwed. Same goes for RIAA and music. If you let any lobbying group tell you how to raise your kids, you are an idiot and shouldn’t have kids. And that is what the MPAA is — they are the lobbying arm of the major studios responsible not just for the ratings but also for protecting the financial interests of the studios. In fact, that is their sole purpose.

For now, give a second to be thankful you are not a resident of Avalon, on the island of Catalina. The city is being engulfed by flames after a fire broke out on the small tourist island this afternoon. And if you are a displaced resident, our thoughts are with you. For more….

A Moment of Silence. A Lifetime of Loud Outrage

16 Apr

Spelling and grammar mistakes aside, every comment board I visited is exactly the same today. A group of people screaming about how it was “the other guy’s” fault that a sick human obtained a rifle, ammunition and killed thirty three people. People blaming democrats, liberals, Bush, Reagan, The 2nd Amendment, and in one memorable case, the 18th Amendment (prohibition for those who have better things to do than keep count.)

Thirty three people are dead. No mention of their politics, their party affiliations, their stand on gun control. A human being perpetrated this crime and if you are a human being, especially a sentient one, then you are responsible for responding in a way that improves the human condition. Politicizing the issue, especially with “my side/your side” comments is small minded foolishness.

This isn’t just an American problem; human beings have the capacity to kill in large numbers as evidenced by the daily suicide bombings in the Middle East. Hundreds were killed in Beslan. Apparently we are so naive we actually believe, as a species, that this problem has a single solution. That somehow voting Bush out of office would stop the madness, that if we banned guns, or movies with guns, or video games, if we could just GO BACK to a time before massacres like this were possible.

You’d have to go back to at least 1763, before Native Americans made what could have been a political/social statement by massacring Enoch Brown and his students. The reasons for the scalping, which were part of a larger epidemic of murders, are not fully known because we killed all the people who dared stop us from stealing their land.

Countries are built on theft, murders, crucifixions, and the idea that if it serves a greater good it must be okay. That logic pretty much excuses every kind of behavior. So was this shooter thinking that his actions were for the greater good? If tomorrow we ban every gun in the world and send them into space like some Superman episode, will we look at these 33 victims (and I include the shooter in that) as noble sacrifices for the cause?

Is it possible that the phrase “culture of life” is just that, a catch phrase, and one that the Bush administration uses when the lives “saved” are fetuses instead of inmates, Iraqis, or people that disagree with us?

Is it possible that instead of pointing fingers, every single human being could sit down tonight and figure out how they contributed to a world where this is possible? Did you forget to vote? Did you forget to read the constitution of your country? Did you stop to think about your actions? Could you be the butterfly that flapped its wings and caused this hurricane?

Long story short? Unless we each take personal responsibility for the angriest and most disenfranchised on this planet and try to help (and I’m not talking proselytizing since nobody can eat scripture) we are all culpable. All blamable. We are all loudmouth jerks screaming about the wrong amendment.

And that sucks.

Currently Rocking My Sad Little World

17 Mar

slacker

Slacker Dot Com — a free online radio currently beta testing. It works like Pandora but will eventually integrate with a portable radio. Imagine Sirius radio, with pause and play, and you are designing the radio station playlists. Oh and no commercials. Still very Beta (it needs better drag and drop features) but worth checking out.
Continue reading

From New York Magazine

6 Mar

Read the whole amazing piece by writer Mark Stevens here

    Unlike Madonna, Spears has never called her own shots. She is just a money-making toy adults sell children. The press rarely calls her “Spears.” That might suggest she’s human. She’s Britney, the singing Barbie. A concoction. She was first marketed as a child celebrity—beginning as a Mouseketeer—and then, when she filled out, transformed into teen cheese. Her mortification of the flesh at 25 is just the latest example of how bizarrely troubling American society finds the female body. (The current hysteria about anorexic fashion models, who treat the body as something to be designed, like clothing, is another example.) The sacrificial standard was, of course, set by Marilyn Monroe. It made perfect sense for Spears, after her mortification, to hide as Marilyn.

I Feel Funny

28 Feb

Welcome to Symptom Checker on WebMD. Or as I like to call it, Random Hysterical Symptom Aggregator Meant To Give Me Something To Worry About. I pronounce the acronum RaHsAm which rhymes with Awesome. You with me so far?

According to WebMD the top searches based on this interactive nightmare include: Diabetes, BiPolar Disorder, Male Pattern Baldness, Gout, Stroke and Celiac Disease. I’m not sure how you get the guy to tell you that you might have Bipolar disorder… I tried clicking on his head an then clicking it again in an effort to “split” his personality but it just asked me if I had a headache. Also if you are having a stroke I don’t think an interactive fake person will help you very much. And if you aren’t, I think he’s just going to convince you that you are. Yesterday at a meeting one of the women there was pregnant and she told me her doctor literally forbids his patients to go onto WebMD. Which I completely understand considering that within five minutes I had diagnosed myself with gout, cellulitis and something called Roseola which it says only affects little kids but I’m sure I am the exception to that rule, as I am fussy and irritable today.